AllGov reporter Sidney Finster has obtained a secret recording in which an unnamed Republican operative brags to a meeting of 2022 campaign workers that he invented the phrase “Defund the Police.”

“I paid some black guys to infiltrate the Black Lives Matter movement and start chanting, ‘Defund the Police.’ It worked perfectly. It galvanized frightened whites to get out and vote against pro-crime Democrats. If Trump hadn’t f---up the Covid issue, we would have swept both houses of Congress and kept the White House. But don’t worry. We’ll push the same phrase in the 2022 elections and this time we’ll win everything. ‘Democrats want to defund the police.’ Keep saying it over and over.”

One person asks, “Do you really think that one issue is enough to win?”

The first speaker responds, “Throw in stuff about immigration. That always works. Keep pushing that Democrats are soft on immigration and they’re letting in terrorists, drug dealers, foreigners who take away American jobs and people who aren’t white who are looking for a free ride.

We’re going to win everything. It’s going to be great.”

-David Wallechinsky

(satire)