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  • Decontaminating the White House

    Monday, October 12, 2020
    Donald Trump paid $750 a year in taxes so that he, as president, could receive top-of-the-line medical care for his Covid infection. The rest of us, including White House workers, are not so lucky. First Lady Melania Trump has promised these employees that their environment will be safe, but can one really trust this family to do what they say or even, if sincere, to know how to do it?   read more
  • USA Passes Italy and UK in Covid-19 Deaths Per Million

    Wednesday, September 23, 2020
    The United States now has more Covid deaths per million than Italy. Remember when Americans sneered at the Italians and the Chinese because they were experiencing so many deaths? Now, in other countries, they shake their heads and wonder how the United States could have gotten it so wrong. Italy and China were caught by surprise, and deaths rose quickly. The U.S. has no such excuse.   read more
  • Trump Lists Qualities for Supreme Court Nominee

    Monday, September 21, 2020
    AllGov correspondent Sidney Finster asked President Trump what qualities he was looking for in the nominee. “Well,” replied Trump, “she has to be a woman, the younger the better. She has to be nice to look at, and she needs to be good on television, particularly on Fox News.” “What about her positions on issues?” Finster persisted. “That’s important too,” Trump assured Finster. “If she can help me win Florida or Pennsylvania or Georgia, that would help.”   read more
  • The $20 Bill: Andrew Jackson or Harriet Tubman?

    Monday, August 03, 2020
    With all the talk of taking down statues and changing the names of buildings, isn’t it time that we talk about the presence of Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill? Jackson was actually a slave trader who made his fortune buying and selling African-Americans. What he did to Native Americans was even worse. He forced an estimated 46,000 Native Americans off their ancestral lands and turned over the land to white people. Thousands of Cherokee died on the Trail of Tears, walking to what is now Oklahoma.   read more
  • Donald Trump Revealed to be a Democratic Mole

    Monday, June 15, 2020
    Release of a secretly recorded conversation between President Donald Trump and Joe Biden revealed the shocking news that Trump is actually a mole who has infiltrated the Republican Party and is working to get Biden elected president. "My big strategy is to hold rallies in battleground states, tell my supporters not to wear masks and instead to link arms. So many of them will end up dying before the election, it’ll be great.”   read more
  • President Trump Apologizes for Coronavirus Deaths

    Monday, May 11, 2020
    In a series of tweets, Trump said, “I’m sorry I didn’t act sooner and I’m sorry that I’ve pushed to open up the country before the pandemic is under control. As you know, I’ve added my name to the stimulus checks that Americans have received. Now I’ve asked to add my name to the death certificates of all Americans who die of the coronavirus from now on.”   read more
  • Hundreds of Thousands Wait in Line for Anti-Stupid Leader Vaccine

    Tuesday, April 28, 2020
    All over the United States, hospitals were swamped with people wanting the new Anti-Stupid Leader Vaccine, which eliminates all images of Donald Trump, replacing them with photos of forests and streams, and replaces all his words with the sound of birds singing or babies giggling. Massive street parties were reported in Hungary and Belarus, while citizens of Great Britain and France anxiously waited to see if the vaccine worked against leaders who are merely ridiculous.   read more
  • Suicide Cult Urges Increased Coronavirus Deaths

    Tuesday, April 21, 2020
    Members of the Trumpianity religion are urging their co-religionists to end anti-coronavirus restrictions and expose themselves to the Covid-19 virus in order to martyr themselves with the goal of increasing their leader’s power. A protest organizer, Sharpie Bellicose, went a step further. “I’m glad to die to help Trumpianity. But before I die, I intend to infect at least three Democrats. That way my martyrdom will be really useful.”   read more
  • Ken Starr and Alan Dershowitz Battle Donald Trump for Silliest Republican of the Week

    Thursday, January 30, 2020
    With a face as straight as Ken Starr’s, Trump asked Palestinians to adopt laws “protecting against financial and political corruption.” He did this while standing next to Benjamin Netanyahu, who, that same day, had been indicted on charges of bribery, fraud and breach of trust in three different cases of corruption.   read more
  • Trump Announces Creation of New Religion: Trumpianity

    Tuesday, December 03, 2019
    President Donald Trump announced that he will be creating a new religion, Trumpianity, which will be aligned with mainstream Evangelical Christianity, but will be overlaid with his own teachings. Trump tweeted that he is infallible and everything he says has to be believed. People who disagree with him will be considered heretics, and Christians who refuse to convert to Trumpianity will be treated as apostates. “I like the way they do it in Saudi Arabia,” Trump explained.   read more
  • 5 Politicians Who Continued Working Successfully after Heart Attacks

    Tuesday, October 22, 2019
    After Sen. Bernie Sanders was hospitalized for a heart attack, some commentators questioned whether this disqualified him from being president of the United States. However, many political leaders have successfully continued their work after surviving heart attacks. Here are 5 notable examples, including two presidents of the United States and one vice-president of the United States.   read more
  • Trump Wills White House and Presidency to Daughter Ivanka

    Monday, August 12, 2019
    Sources close to President Donald Trump report that in updating his will, in case of his death while in office, he has given the White House and the presidency of the United States to his daughter, Ivanka. When Trump’s lawyers explained that the United States Constitution guarantees presidential elections, Trump came up with his definitive argument: “So what? Who’s going to stop me?” (satire)   read more
  • Trump Claims God Told Him to Deport his Wife, Melania

    Monday, July 22, 2019
    President Donald Trump announced via Twitter, after a prayer session with Vice-President Mike Pence and Trump’s spiritual advisor, Franklin Graham, that God told him to deport his wife, Melania. “We’ve been deporting legal citizens because they lied back when they arrived in the US,” wrote Trump. “Melania worked as a model before she received a work permit. Send her back.”   read more
  • Trump Bans Use of Arabic Numerals

    Monday, June 17, 2019
    President Donald Trump has issued an executive order banning the use of Arabic numerals by the federal government and replacing all numbers with Roman numerals. In a live television interview with campaign advisor Sean Hannity, Trump argued that it’s necessary to stop the infiltration of American life by Muslim culture and Sharia law. His reelection campaign will now be known as Trump MMXX. His MAGA caps will be rebranded as Make America GVIII Again.   read more
  • Trump’s Obsession with Venezuela and Iran in One Chart

    Monday, May 27, 2019
    Of all the dictatorships in the world, President Donald Trump has zeroed in on creating regime change—by economic sanctions and/or war—in just two: Venezuela and Iran. He and his team have tried to convince Americans that these two countries are the biggest threats to U.S. national security. This is a real stretch, particularly in the case of Venezuela. So, what is really motivating Trump? Take a look at this chart   read more
  • Presidents Testifying—America’s Downward Spiral from Clinton to Bush to Trump

    Monday, April 29, 2019
    On September 21, 1998, President Bill Clinton testified on video in response to charges that he had lied about his relationship with Monica Lewinsky and had attempted to obstruct justice. This testimony, which lasted more than four hours, is still available on the internet. In a space of 21 years, we went from a videotaped interview that was released to the public; to an in-person interview without a video, audio or written record; to no in-person interview whatsoever.   read more
  • Blueprint for Impeachment—The Mueller Report

    Monday, April 22, 2019
    Without using the word “impeachment,” Mueller and his team bluntly present the evidence that Trump has committed multiple impeachable offenses. Mueller considers eleven possible areas of obstruction. In some cases, Mueller writes that the acts do not rise to the level of legal obstruction of justice. But the majority do.   read more
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