New Additions to AllGov

Trump Deports JD Vance and His Wife

According to aides who were present when Trump discussed the issue, but who choose to remain anonymous for fear of retribution, Trump said he was sick of Vance and wanted to fire him. “I wanted him to be my attack dog,” said Trump, “but he appears foolish on television. He dropped the college football trophy. He met with Pope Francis and the next day the pope died. Vance is toxic, and I don’t want him to come near me. He just doesn’t look as good on television as I thought he would.” read more

Trump Offers to Return Alaska to Russia

In an attempt to end the war caused by Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, U.S. President Donald Trump has offered to return Alaska to Russia in exchange for Russia pulling its troops from Eastern Ukraine. Russian dictator Vladimir Putin said he would agree to the proposal if Trump also returned Fort Ross and the Russian River in California, Russia sold Fort Ross to Mexican citizen John Sutter in 1841. read more

Musk and Trump Fire Members of Congress

Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) sent messages to all members of Congress terminating their positions, stating “Your performance has not been adequate to justify further employment.” All Democratic and independent members of Congress, as well as two Republicans, found themselves locked out of their offices after everything inside had been confiscated. read more

Trump Calls for Violent Street Demonstrations Against Himself

President Donald Trump has repeatedly expressed outrage to aides because there have been no violent mass street demonstrations against his statements and policies. He believes he needs violent demonstrations against him in order to declare a national state of emergency that would allow him to do anything he wants. read more

Trump Changes Name of Republican Party

Said Trump, “Any politician who insists on continuing to call himself a Republican will be primaried or even worse.” "Those cabinet members and members of the Trumpican Party in Congress who have not appeared regularly on Fox News will be required to take a screen test. Those who fail will be required to take acting classes.” read more